lalala...

haven't updated for a while...been meaning to but everytime i came on the internet, i changed my mind...i kept meaning to write so many things, but i either just can't bring myself to write them because they symbolise way too much...more than i want to think about right now or just because i got pissed with how slow the computer is...:)

Well, so yea...been sick since last tuesday...i went for french - where some moelc person gave the us a lecture about how useful knowing a third language is...utterly useless...oh and he was worse than those hwa chong guys who gave us that briefing at hcjc...those who went would understand what i'm talking about...at least he didn't speak in chinese...anyway, i was feeling really uncomfy during the whole thing and my head hurt before and after that...when i went home, i simply lay there, listening to hillsongs...pain....badddd pain....i couldn't even walk on think straight....today was my first day back in school....doesn't look like i missed much...

phoebe: give it a while k?...i know it's not easy...but it's not fair for them to judge you too..and it's not fair for them not take what you think and how you feel into account...you're a human being too!...and all you were doing was trying to help...maybe you went a bit too far but they were sort of asking for the help...it's not your fault...seriously...oh and i'm incredibly sorry about the state i was in on tuesday....i'm here to listen k??...love ya...

let's see...what else has happened>>>... ah...results....NO.I DID NOT DO WELL.I DID VERY BADLY ACTUALLY. at least in my opinion i did, and if everyone is entitled to their opinion then i obviously am as well right? s-i-g-h...i guess i shouldn't have really expected much...seeing as to how slack i have been this year..and yea i guess..everything that has happened...i guess i just should be relieved that my average is respectable and that everything except mep and art are a1s...blech...low they may be...

moving on....

i'm scared....i really really really really am scared....next year is gonna be so different to say the least...i know i'll know some people...but it's been four years since i've schooled there and three years since i went to visit...and a lot of the people i know have gone to different schools...and a lot have gone to private schools like penrhos, aquinas and all saints...and some had to go to willeton instead of rossmoyne, where i'm gonna go....and i'll be away from daddy...i've been away from him before...i've been away from each of my parents before...but still...especially now that he got his promotion and since he always has so much work that threatens, or affects, his health - which he seemingly doesn't give a damn about (excuse my language)...as nicole put it - he's such a guy....but seriously...i'm not having second thoughts or anything....i want to go...i think i've made that really clear...there isn't much to keep me here....people...yes but...i'm dying in these conditions....they are not suitable for a person like me to thrive....i'm really scared....unsure and scared....but i mean this is what i want right?...a new beginning...a fresh start...and no new start is easy...i've had to go through more than my fair share of them in the last five years....but i've gotten through...i've made friends...enjoyed life at times...changed...learnt....etc...so i'll get through this time as well right?.....

what do you do when life finally takes the turn you were hoping for and you're scared?